Christmas Day

I woke up after 5PM today. Christmas has been just like a regular day or should I say a more depressing and hopeless day? I've been sleeping during the day and waking up during the night for almost a week now. Although I don't have any money of my own, I really want to shop for the After Christmas Sale tomorrow because I love to bargain!

Christmas Eve

It's Christmas Eve and I'm not feeling the spirit or joy of Christmas at all. It's raining and the area I live in lack the joy and celebration of the holidays. I wish I was somewhere else instead of being home with my family (I don't feel any bond with them). I want to be somewhere that is full of joy, snow, and Christmas decorations. I feel so lonely and depressed. I wish I had loving family and friends to be with and give presents to experience the joy I've long for over 10 years. Where is God? Since He knows what I want, why hasn't He given what I want? I've been waiting for over 10 years. Is it because I haven't prayed enough or that I haven't prayed correctly?

Dear Lord,

Please heal my feelings of pain, depression, despair, hopelessness, bitterness, etc. Please give me the friends I need in my life. Please let me experience the joy of Christmas. And please help me with my struggles. I pray in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Staci

Winter Break

My finals ended on Thursday. Glad to get over it. I was completely lost and stressed out. I took five classes during the fall semester. I know I didn't pass one class; I passed three classes, but what about the last one? I hope I pass it. I hate repeating classes. I hate wasting time. I don't want to stay in college for ten years. I need to reach for my dreams, especially at a young age. I've already wasted for than ten years of my life being depressed and doing nothing useful.

Christmas is coming and I don't feel any joy or celebrating at all. It's not that I hate the holidays, it's just that I don't find any reason to celebrate at all since I have no one closed to me in my life and I've always been alone. It's always been like this for the past eleven years. Although I have materialistic things, I want something that's better like love, peace, and happiness with my love ones (that I've always longed to have).